So What, No Kids Around

Why Do Children Define Marriage?

Everyone’s heard the story; blah, blah, blah . . . you get married and have kids. That’s what you do. That’s what your supposed to do. That’s what everyone does, right? Well, that depends.

We know as of 2010 that 20% are going against the old school thought and choosing to be #childfree. But why do children still define a marriage? Better yet, why does society think that children define a marriage?

The truth is, it doesn’t. So if that’s really the case why does everyone ask,

“When are you having kids?”

Can’t society understand that some people (women or men) are satisfied not having children? Or actually choosing to be a CBC? #ChildlessByChoice

The definition of #marriage according to, “The legally or formally recognized union of a man and a woman (or in some jurisdictions two people of the same sex) as partners in a relationship.” Okay. Did I miss something? I’m pretty sure it didn’t mention anything about children.

We agree with the legal definition of marriage – Two people joining together to be partners. How one defines that is up to them. We got married to be a team together. We fell in love with one another and feel confident (after years of dating) we have found the person we want to be with, to partner with, to travel with, to party with, hold hands with; and of course be in love with for as long as we live. That is enough for us, why is it not enough for society?

People have actually asked us, “If you are not having kids, why did you get married?”

Are people saying that you have to have kids to have a “real” marriage? So, having kids is the reason to get married? If that’s the case, no wonder why the divorce rate is about 50%. Seriously! We are being facetious, but really; do we have to dummy this down for some folks? We got married. Period. We love each other and don’t feel we need a kid to make us feel like a unit. The law recognizes our partnership, and so should others. Kids or no kids around.

Some people want to be in a committed relationship, it’s nice to have someone to talk to when your happy, or to have someone there when you need a shoulder to cry on. It’s nice to have someone to travel with, to know someone will be there to make decisions for you if you are unable to make decisions. Let’s face it, being in a relationship is good for some and good for our society as well, kids or no kids around.

Just recently; someone I know, who doesn’t have kids, was talking about a woman that was dying. She said because the woman dying didn’t have children it was not as devastating as someone who had children. Where are we at in society in the year 2015 if people, even people without children, think that someone’s life is not worth living because they didn’t have kids?

Rick Santorum recently spoke out about the Supreme Court’s ruling on gay marriage and said the following.

“We are now faced not just with a society that’s going to say and is saying, that marriage has nothing to do with children,” said Santorum. “That’s the impact of this decision. Marriage has nothing to do with children.”

Is he saying that he doesn’t want people running around being married without having children?

So this quote refers to #gaymarriage. However, let’s face it; any marriages without children are in the same boat; gay or straight.

We all have our own decisions about why we don’t have kids. Gay marriage is approved and, in our opinion, needed to happen. There are some politicians that feel marriage must be about having children and therefore do not approve of gay marriage. If that is the case, why do they allow straight couples that choose to be childfree to be married? What kind of world are we really living in? Let’s let the couples decide what is best for them.

There are many children that need to be adopted and can be adopted by these childless couples (gay or straight). But, what about the couples that choose to be childfree. What is the penalty? Is that penalty in the court of public opinion? We all know the IRS has punished those individuals but where is it headed next? Why can’t couples with or without kids, gay or straight, be left to make decisions as to what is best for them on their own?

What does marriage mean to people? We cannot speak for everyone without kids but from personal experience, marriage is so much more than that.

So what is marriage really?

Companionship, Partnership, someone to grow old with? Fill in your own blanks. Marriage means something different to each relationship. The old saying goes, “There is someone out there for everyone.” Aint’ that the truth. And thank goodness.

Doesn’t everyone want to feel love and give love? Marriage allows one to love on deeper levels. I would challenge that couples without children have a better survival rate than those with children. Perhaps without children; committed or married couples, gay or straight, are forced to know each other deeper and form stronger bonds because the love for each other and themselves must be enough. As opposed to couples that have children (love for each other is extremely important) but they do have the kids to serve as a common connection.

Who cares? If people want to be together; married or not, kids or no kids, gay or straight, who cares! It is no ones business! Why does society still continue to judge? To quote a good friend, “Will you people listen to yourselves?”

Do children really define marriage? Some may think that; however, life is so fulfilling when one “really” knows their partner.

Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds our need for each other – Dalai Lama

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